Losing feels so much more intense than winning

There's been two pretty big pitches in quick succession, almost concurrent, taking over my life until the end of last week. One was good news, the other not.

 

It's not often you get to look both success and failure in the eye at nearly the same time, before post-rationalisation and self justification kick in. And loss is always a deeper feeling than the joy of getting the good news.

In any case, it's always such an anti-climax. Pitches are things you both love and hate, nothing in this business quite matches the feverish activity before that big date, the fear that the ideas won't come, the magic when it seems to arrive all by itself, the late night takeaways, those nights when you can't sleep with the Adrenalin overload and when you do, you dream about the bloody pitch. You form bonds with new people in the agency you don't usually work with, you get closer to the ones you do.

And then it's over.

At first it's a relief to get a little of your life back and hurtle through the things you really should have been doing instead of pitching. But then you realise  you miss it.

When good news comes it's a pleasure to see all that hard work pay off, but there's no time to enjoy it, suddenly it's real, you have to make good on your promises. It never matches that heady brew of fear, expectation, creativity and sheer WANTING. And there's no time, suddenly it's real and you have to make good on your promises. 

Only loss can come close, the bitter, helpless frustration. You know it was great, you know it was the right thing to do. Why can't they see it? Like the feeling of being dumped by a partner, you have to fight the maddening urge to pick up the phone, even though it will do no good. In a little corner, you're sure they'll see sense and realise their mistake.

They never do.

 

Comments

[Andrea]

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance!

[Rob @ Cynic]

I so relate to this post NP ... but you can look at it another way, because win or lose, we get to work in an industry that can make us explode in emotions which compared to many who are consumed in the monotonous process of passiveness, is a much better place to be.

http://robcampbell.wordpress.com/2006/07/03/the-secret-to-being-alive/

[John]

Isn't it explained by the fact that you expect to win - if you don't have the expectation that your ideas are good enough to win (politics aside)then why bother to pitch would be my question?

And why wouldn't you make that phonecall - not to change their decision of course, but perhaps to find out more about wehy the decision was made and how their logic makes you think about them and pitching again?

[Ben]

That's spot on. Pitching, really, is a terrible thing. Giving away lots and lots of free work for a 20% chance of winning something is never a good idea.

However, I suspect the addiction to the adrenalin of the process is what keeps us coming back for more.

And the post rationalising that occurs when you win, is often as pointless as the post rationalising that occurs when you lose.

[northern]

That's a good point about winning, it's so easy to convince yourself luck had nothing to do with it.

And John, I agree you expect to win, you have to do. That has its own problems - sometimes winning is much less about joy and more relief at not losing.