Why relationships are a bad brand metaphor and why a Victoria's Secret model is maybe the only useful archetype

I really like Hi Fidelity. As  neurotic, former record fair regular, who was useless with women, I guess it was inevitable.

Despite the fact that it seemed relevant to me personally, it did that trick of, lets be honest fellas, skewering the confused flailing and general crapness that is the experience of being a male in the 21st century.

One of the best bits was when the protagonist admits that he thought living with a women was going to be a voyage into a world of constant lingerie heaven, where his partner was constantly gagging for it and never wore anything apart from gorgeous silks, satins and diaphanous, nearly see through, frilly almost nothings.

Only to find, be dreadfully disappointed and come to terms with the fact that women, just like men, have pulling pants, but they also have the day to day drab and sometimes very, very comfy versions of underwear that about as sexy as George Osborne.

We all, eventually, realise that the fire on that first attraction cools and what's left, hopefully, is a reality where the other person is far from perfect, knows your own faults too well, has habits that drive you mad and tolerates some of yours. You have to work bloody hard to keep that kind of relationships alive.

Just as you have to work at friendships, parenthood even client services.

Why is why the fashionable metaphor of brands and ordinary human beings having an equal 'two-way' relationship is just hogwash. We work hard at relationships that matter to us, only wierdos tend to think of brands that way, because few people want to have a relationship with a metaphor or an idea. 

Yet so many social media gurus and brand consultants seem to think that two way relationships the future, in spite of all the data that would suggest otherwise.

As it happens, this might be where a constant flow of new sexy knickers might work as a better metaphor, since the real task of brands is to constantly get noticed by people who couldn't really care less.

Maybe, therefore, the pretentious twaddle about brand archetypes isn't that useful either, and we should possibly stick to trying to make brands a little more like a Victoria's Secret Model.

And little less like a that deluded bore at parties full of himself, sure everyone is hanging on his every word, but actually, really, really dull.